Greetings! Hope everybody had a great (and relaxing) weekend. Things were more or less okay here. Vashti continues to hold her own, although she’s clearly losing interest in her prescription kidney food–which I can understand, because who wants to eat the same thing all the time?! It’s frustrating as it’s clear that Vashti’s hungry, just not interested in any more of the Science Hills, even if I mix it with some of her favorite treats that have gotten her to eat it in the past. So I have a call scheduled with her doctor for this morning to discuss alternatives; prescription kidney diet or not, I am not denying food to a hungry cat!
Just about the only food-related excitement we had around here this weekend came from Laurence’s birthday dinner at Keen’s Steakhouse. Laurence, who has become a very indulgent “dad” these days, ordered the prime rib for two so that he’d have a whole extra prime rib to bring home for the cats. We gave some sparingly to Vashti (who’s supposed to be eating a low protein diet for her kidneys) and a bit more to Homer, who I’m pretty sure is now wondering why his evil and heartless mom kept prime rib out of this life for the past 13 years. Honestly, I’ve never seen a skinny little cat eat so much meat so quickly in all my life. His little belly was wagging from side to side when he walked all weekend long.
Scarlett was the only one who pretty much turned her nose up at it, because Scarlett refuses to have anything to do with any food that doesn’t come out of one of her favorite cans or the Pounces bag.
I am also slaving away on various deadlines, because prescription kidney food doesn’t pay for itself even if nobody’s eating it. (Sigh.) And this is where I’m hoping the collective wisdom of my infinitely wise readers and fellow “crazy cat people” (I personally wear “crazy” as a badge of honor) can help me out.
I’m interested in hearing about the funniest thing your cat–or any cat you know–has ever done. I’m looking for anything silly, zany, goofy, clumsy, confusing, or just downright chuckle-inducing.
I can’t offer any big prizes for a “winning” story, but if you send me something that I end up using in the proposal for my next book, and if that proposal is bought and the book is published and your story appears in it, I will thank you on the “Acknowledgments” page–and your cat’s crazy antics will be immortalized in book form.
You can post your stories in the comments section or email me privately. Your choice, although I do encourage you all to share your stories where others can see them, as I’m sure just about everybody who reads this blog is the kind of person who enjoys a good crazy cat story. I know I do! 
Good to hear from you! So far the only human food Newt has really shown aggressive interest in is buttered toast, also yogurt. However, I must say I don’t do much cooking and don’t eat much meat at home (though after years of near vegetarianism I find myself getting more carnivorous in my “mature” years; I am sure if I did bring prime rib home he would devour it before I could get near it). I’ve actually only shared living space with cats over the past five years but have known many, many cat people and do have some stories I will send along once back in Vancouver!
By the way, one of the fans of the Homer’s Odyssey Facebook page posted a story about a blind cat in a New York shelter; she posted it on her own page (we’re Facebook friends now) and I suggested she repost it there as there are a lot of New York and vicinity fans.
Gwen–I am glad to hear Vashti is holding her own and acting better. I loved the recipe for her new improved food last blog–perhaps you should write a pet cookbook! Hey, there’s an idea. I remember I used to cat sit for a neighbor when she went away–and each day’s meal for the cat was a whole frozen chicken wing which I would crack a raw egg over! Ugh!
I’m pretty low on funny cat stories from my kitties. I did have one retrieving cat, Kerry–used to scoop up the pull tabs from frozen OJ cans in his paw and bring them back to us–he was polydactyl and used his paws to “pick up.” Funniest thing I can relate is my neighbor’s cat Sadie. Sadie would follow the mailman all over the neighborhood, doing rounds with him. The entire neighborhood knew Sadie. As long as they were on quiet suburban streets this went fine, but then the mailman would get to a busier secondary street and fear for the cat. So he would pop the cat in the mail van, bring her “special delivery” back to our block, and deposit her in front of the house, then try to sneak away.
Then there was another neighbor who had the fattest Bichon in the world and used to walk him leashless around the neighborhood (this dog wouldn’t hurt a fly). Along with them would go his two black cats, who would follow them, explore up on lawns, and then return to the dog and master if he whistled. Never saw cats behave quite like that.
My husband, kids and I have three cats – Bono Edge (named after Bono and The Edge from the rock band U2), Ginger Marie (named after a late friend of ours and his late mother’s middle name) and Philip Vivian (named after the current guitarists in the rock band Def Leppard). Well, there is something funny that they do and it’s a kitty game of ‘Duck Duck Goose’. Every now and then they like to chase each other around the house and when one of them taps the other the other chases him/her around while the other one looks on. Then the onlooking cat gets picked and then the chasing starts all over again. That, in a nutshell, is how they like to play. In fact, we find it more amusing than any funny cat videos we see on television or even the internet!
Hey Gwen! Glad you’re still “on the planet”! LOL I knew you hadn’t updated in a few days so figured you were busy w/deadlines.
Went to Blind Cat Rescue this weekend in St. Paul’s NC, and there was a skinny black cat there that I SWEAR was a dead-ringer for Homer’s twin!!! I thought of you two the whole time we were there! We had a Catster CCL get-together in Raleigh and Sunday’s agenda was for all of us to go to BCR. It was my first visit there.
So I wanted to let you know I’d been thinking about you – and HOMER! They say everyone has a twin somewhere … guess that’s true for cats, too? LOL
PS – No I didn’t come home w/one but I was sorely tempted ….
Laura & Morticia
I’m reading your fabulous book now during my morning commute and I just love it. I’m terribly sorry to read about Vashti’s medical problems and I certainly hope she makes a miraculous full recovery. Cats our so precious and it’s always so heart-breaking to hear about one who isn’t feeling well.
On a lighter note my polydactyly cat, Dexter (yes, like the Showtime series Serial Killer) is obsessed with opening the doors in our apartment. We learned this shortly after adopting him from a local shelter when he repeatedly “rescued” his brother Watson from his medically recommended “confinement” after a minor surgery. We couldn’t figure out how Watson kept escaping the spare room so I finally sat by the door with my iPhone and video taped Dexter opening the door and releasing his little friend.
It was really cute and hilarious at first but now he does it constantly. Needless to say guests sometimes get quite the shock when Dexter barges in on them in the bathroom etc…
Here’s the video:
http://xoxoerin.com/2009/08/13/belated-watson-wednesday-dexter-to-the-rescue/
I hope it brings a smile to your face.
Best,
Erin
I laughed so hard when reading about Homer and his prime rib.What a hoot, picturing him diving into the juicy meat and then walking away with the waddling belly. Too funny. Laurence certainly HAS become a very indulgent papa. How sweet! I think your idea for a humorous cat book is a GREAT one. Everyone could use a good laugh and who hasn’t laughed at something a cat has done ! Cats do the funniest things! Several years back, my cat Casey caused me to laugh when I looked outside my condominium window and saw him sprawled under my neighbor’s car; the way he was posed it looked like he was a car mechanic, making repairs. He was sound asleep and all the neighbors got a good glimpse and all had a good laugh. He spent a lot of time outdoors and all my neighbors spoke to and petted him. He was like the “community” cat.
Gosh Gwen I’m sorry to hear the latest turn of events, but I can relate! Decades ago I read in a book, “Mealtime is very important in the life of your pet.” The book might have been by the great Warren Eckstein (PhD.) Whatever the source, I took it to heart and all my pets have had VARIETY in their diets!
However, I wonder if variety for Vashti would be as simple as cooking ground meat and mixing that in with the prescription food & other ingredients you mention. You could then rotate between that, the Friskies mixture, and maybe ground turkey or tuna/salmon as a topper. I realize though that the problem with the meats/fish/poultry is that they’re high-protein and her kidneys need low-protein. But maybe, just enough for FLAVORING would satisfy Vashti…..anxious to hear what your vet suggests!
On an unrelated issue: the current issue of “Cat Fancy” has an article about a NC-based artist who paints pix of cats for charity. The article mentions “the Magoo Room, a blind cat sanctuary located near Greeneville, NC”. Is that the same organization as the Blind Cat Rescue that you support?
Sorry my pets haven’t done a lot of funny stuff in their lives, but the couple that come to mind I’m saving for my own article/book! LOL
Hi, Gwen, I am a fan of your writing from OpenSalon; Homer’s Odyssey is my current bedtime (re)reading.
My alpha cat, Blueberry, is a small, rather fierce, yet social tabby (everyone who meets her wants to take her home—especially men). She has one compelling habit: although she will never do it in front of me, she likes to haul clothing around. It’s usually mine, although sometimes a housemate’s t-shirt will show up in the middle of the hallway. The really funny part is that she apparently vocalizes while she’s doing it; she’s been seen/heard running down the back stairs into the yard, yowling, with a nightgown in tow. I’m sure there’s a message, but it’s not clear whether it focuses more on conquest or complaint.
I just read your book two weeks ago and am proud that I’m responsible for 4 of your newest Facebook friends!
I’ve had my red tabby cat, Chance, since he was five weeks old. He was so tiny I made a cage for him to protect him from his brothers (23 and 19 pounds). I bought him a small toy bear, the kind you can stuff with catnip, so that he’d have a buddy. Well, six years later, Bear is still an important part of Chances’ life (the cage is gone, tubby is more than able to handle himself). Cue Barry White. Chance will carry Bear by its scruff to where ever I am, and then … get it on. A big issue is that Chance ‘gets that lovin’ feelin” when I’m on the phone. And, since I work from home, I’ve had to explain to some of my more indulgent clients what the ruckus is all about. Chance ‘en amoure’ was also once conferenced in by speaker phone by the home office staff.
Thoughts and prayers for Vashti, fuzz Homer for me (I’ve had five black cats and they are the best!!!) and blink in Scarlett’s direction. Wishing you all, all the best.
Glad to hear Vashti is holding her own! You deserve the ?Mom of the Year Award!”
Hi Gwen, Loved the book! Can’t wait until your second one. Homer is truly the character, Vashti is the sweetie pie, and Scarlett is, well, Scarlett. They are all unique in their own way and lovable because of it. I hope Vashti is doing well with her regimen and holding her own.
I have two rescued cats, Parker and Oscar. Parker, the female, is lovingly nicknamed Devil Kitty. She lives on the edge, always planning her next coup. She finds every discarded soda cup with a straw and pulls out the straw to carry around the house, so that loose straws lying on the floor are an almost daily occurence. (We drink a lot of soda from dispensers!) She loves the plastic rings from the lids of gallon milk containers; you can throw it and she will fetch it and bring it back for you to do again. She also likes to fetch rolled-up pieces of aluminum foil (I know, cats are supposed to hate foil). If one of our yellow labs startles her she runs up and bites him in the butt; the other lab, if he is sleeping, she will go up, push his ear flap back, and proceed to clean his ear. At night she cuddles up either between my husband and I or she gets right in the crook of my neck. I find it cute and cuddly until I wake up with either my neck stiff, my arm asleep, or a hot flash coming on, at which point she looks at me with slit eyes, perturbed for having woken her up. She comes running to a window if she hears the garbage truck go by on our street. She will occasionally bring us a mouse from the basement, dropping it on the kitchen floor and wondering what to do with it next. And in the summer she goes on “bug patrol”, where she gets on one of our shoulders and we walk the perimeter of all the rooms looking for bugs on the wall. Her favorites are moths and flies, which she has been known to catch in mid air.
Oscar, our male, is a long-haired sweetie. We named him after Oscar the Grouch as he looks like a cross between him and the Christmas Grinch. He seems to have a forever frown but he is a total softie. He really doesn’t do anything funny unless just looking at him counts. We have begun calling him a basketball with legs, what with his fur and his 17 pounds of body mass. He is not overweight, though, as the vet just confirmed at his last visit. Being a Maine Coon mix he is right on target. He tolerates Parker and they occasionally wrestle but she gives up fast, probably as he is bigger than her. Oscar’s favorite pastimes are eat, sleep, and getting face and belly rubs.
With both cats and both dogs life is exciting and hairy, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Gwen,
Glad to hear that Vashti is holdng her own! While Skittles is the cat of the house now, before him was Miko a darling seal point Himalayan. Miko had an extraordinary personality, for example he would sit against the kitchen hall wall while we conversd at the dining table, just to be in the thick of things.
Well the story about Miko involves his fascination with being outside. He was an indoor cat but once in a while I would take him out on the back deck. There were times he got off the deck and ended up under the deck or the neighbors and once he did that there was no easy way to get him back in.
I have a friend Cara who also cat sit for Miko on occassion, so he knew her. One beautiful, hot, New England summer day Cara and I lay on lounge chairs in the back yard all afternoon. Miko sat at the screen door in the house and whined to come out. It was still afternnon so we let him out onto the grass for awhile. Miko walked with Cara along the back of the condos, as happy as you please. We were planning to go to dinner. I should have just let Cara walk him back, but I got nervous and went to get him to bring him in.
Well he just went goofy on us and he put up a good argument not to let me near him. He ran to the garden. It was about 85 degrees out and here I was wondering how to get my cat safely back in the house without suffering the consequences of claws, teeth, etc. and of course not wanting to hurt him. Still in my swim suit, I went to my garage and donned a winter jacket and boots to scoop my cat up and get him in. Cara was laughing so hard at my get up and Miko was very disgruntled to say the least. I managed to pick him up and get him in the house. I felt ridiculous but I would never leave home with Miko outside!
Needless to say he was put out for the rest of the evening but by morning he was back to his old self. I had the best friendship with that cat for 12 1/2 years. He has been gone these past 4 1/2 years and I think of him and miss him many days.
I am sure that Skittles will also generate stories as time goes on, and as my friend Pam says, I do know what it is like to be owned by a cat.
elise
How funny that Homer went wild for prime rib! I gave my guys some tuna–real tuna, not the processed Friskies kind–and they went ape! They were acting like I had never fed them in their lives. Of course, they act like that every time I open a can for them.
During the drive back to Maryland from Nashville, I was pleasantly surprised that Wonder was such a good passenger. He was really quiet and slept most of the way. A few hours into the 13-hour trek, my friend and I heard little sneeze from the back seat. I turned around and said, “Oh, bless you, Wonderbear!” Not five seconds later, what we thought was a sneeze revealed itself to be the most vile fart capable of coming from a creature so small! Windows were rolled down as we shouted, “Damn! I thought he just sneezed!!” Wonder was kind enough to share his talent with us for the remainder of the ride. What a guy!
Send some love to your crew from my crew, especially Scarlett. Since the other two have been getting all the shout-outs, Scarlett probably needs some extra love. My Morgaine, a fat gray tabby, is a CRAB, so I definitely understand Scarlett’s attitude.
Glad things seem to be going okay for now. I loved the prime rib story! Our cats, Stanley and Ollie, won’t even eat any canned food; dry only ever since they were kittens. When we first got them, we let them out in the lanai and they would chase each other around, jumping across the corners of the pool. Occasionally they would miss the other side, and go for a swim. There’d be waves in the pool and we’d know one of them had taken a dunk! They would climb out the side and look indignant and embarrassed, shake themselves off, and get to the job of licking themselves dry again in the sun.
Stanley had a scarey run-in with what I am now sure was a black widow spider bite. We nearly lost him, but he’s doing fine now. Let me know if you want to hear the story; I’m sure it was a fluke and would probably never happen again, but you never know when the story might help save someone’s cat some day.
Newt likes split pea soup! I opened a can yesterday for lunch, and he came running into the kitchen meowing frantically, as if I’d got out filet mignon (of course, I’ve never tried that, he’d probably knock me away from the counter)!
Hi Gwen, glad to hear that Vashti is holding her own. She is so lucky to have you guys!!
A few years ago my husband and I noticed that the heating duct covers were off of the wall. The house is older and they are close to the floors. So, as we live right across from railroad tracks, we figured they were vibrating off. After several times of pushing them back in place we were beginning to wonder what was going on. I should mention that during this time my tiger cat Pepper was nowhere to be found. I finally caught Pepper in the act and could not believe my eyes. You have to understand that Pepper is a very big fat cat. She pried open the covers using her claws and then somehow managed to get her fat butt down into the heating ducts. Completely freaked me out the first time I saw her disappear into the ducts. Have no idea why she would do this. So we now have all of the covers securely taped to the walls so she can’t open them. She was not very happy about this and tried to peal off the tape with her teeth.
My other cat Dusty has a fetish for crab legs. That cat can smell them when I pull them out of the fridge to steam. Goes crazy bonkers in the kitchen until they are done and of course she gets a plate of the knuckle meat. Pepper could care less, but Dusty just talks and talks until she gets her special dish.
Anyhow, those are my stories about my crazy girls. Give all of the kitties a hug for me!! They have no idea how many people care about them…LOL
Doreen
Our friend had a black cat named Superboy. He was a typical “teen”, quite a handful. They lived in a A frame type house with a large living room and a balcony above. One day, just as friend walked into the living room, Superboy leaped from the balcony down to the LR spraying all the way. Friend said, “Talk about your golden arches!” Would have loved to have gotten that on video.
Hi, Gwen! Finished reading your book and logged onto your site. I absolutely fell in love with your kitties, most especially Homer. What an incredible cat who was able to surpass such insurmountable odds to live his life regardless of his disability. If only we humans can be as courageous. THANK YOU for choosing to adopt him. Cats are precious creatures that have an uncanny ability to reach into the deepest recesses of our hearts and plant love there.
Hearing about Vashti’s health woes brought back some painful memories of my own. My beloved little boy, Rascal, passed away 3 years ago this month from hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, otherwise known as heart disease. The diagnosis was grim: 4 to 6 months. But that was in 2004, and he went undiagnosed for 2 years prior to the official diagnosis! The vet couldn’t believe how long Rascal lived with the disease; I told him that it was because of his mother’s fierce love. He got up to 4 pills and 2 shots per day. But I’d do it all over again just to have him by my side! He was my lifesaver and I miss him terribly! When he passed, I started to write a small note which escalated into a memorial booklet complete with pictures of Rascal’s life; I can send you a copy if you’d like.
But I digress! I have a new little boy now, a transplant from the state of Florida. To make a short story even shorter, after my beloved Rascal passed away, my sister brought me a new little boy: a black kitten, whom I aptly named Mickey Mouse. Although not as affectionate as Rascal, he is an absolute joy and keeps me on my toes. One of the things that I think is cute is something that he just started doing: chasing his tail. He goes round and round until he catches it, then starts all over again in the opposite direction until he’s tired and wobbly. Another cute antic is his drinking habit. Whenever he comes inside, he runs directly to the bathroom to drink out of the sink; he will not drink out of his water bowl. Oh, and he has to have all the doors open, to include bedroom and closet doors. Let’s see, what else: he eats bugs (he grew up on a farm), chases the usual critters; he even caught a squirrel once and bit off it’s tail! What a cannibal! One more thing: he likes to play dress-up. Or, rather, I dress him up each holiday (New Year’s, Valentines, St. Patrick’s, Easter, 4th of July, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas), and take him on a parade in our front yard. He loves going for walks on his leash (I refuse to allow him outside untethered), and during the winter months is the only time he will snuggle with me. I take him for walks in the rain (as long as it’s just a light rain), in the snow (just flurries — not the heavy stuff) as well as nice weather. The only kind of weather he refuses to go out in is when it’s windy. Go figure! Although I miss my beloved, Mickey certainly has filled the void in my heart.
Which brings me back to Vashti. I, as I’m sure everyone who has commented here and also on your Facebook page, know how you feel about your precious fur babies. Vashti is a fighter, and I do hope and pray that she makes a full recovery. She is a sweet kitty, as is Scarlett and Homer. They are truly blessed cats to have such wonderful parents who pamper them every chance they get. Hang in there, Gwen! Vashti is so worth it, and so much more!!
All the best, Marie & Mickey Mouse
Hi Gwen:
I really enjoyed Homer’s Odyssey -:) I read it twice! I’ve been recommendating it to others. I love stories that demonstrate the strength of the human spirit. I think of nothing but courage, love, hope and faith when I think you and your family’s story. Bless you, Laurence, Vashti, Scarlett, and Homer -:) You are so fortunate to have each other!
I have a 8 year old domestic short hair named Binx. I found him when he was 1 year as a stray. He is salt and pepper with the friendliest temperment. Me and my family love him so much! Hehe he does a couple of funny things.
The first is how he just loves to take my or my brother’s sit at the dinner table lol. He always like roasted or smoked turkey so he will take whatever measures necessary to success! lol He can smell roasted turkey from a mile away! If roasted turkey is on the dinner table, well by golly, one of use will be the ones pulling up an extra chair! lol.
Another thing that he does that gets me every time, is he will get comfortable in my lab while I am trying to entertain company and will face the other party to let out the cutest soft purr. Momma says its almost like he is saying “she is mine” lol. Conveiently this seems to occur while I am in the company of male companions lol. I told momma that Binx is just being protective. He’ll open up to someone after the Big Test”. All you gotta do is rub him under his chin twice and its a done deal. He loves each one of us and I know he would never let anyone else harm us. I love you Binx~
My Maggie(she is Homer’s friend Magnificent Jasmine Olson on FB) is declawed. When I took her out on a leash for the first time, she walked over to a tree in the back yard and started sniffing it. She jumped about three feet up the tree and gave it a big hug. She then got the “Oh crap, I have no front claws” look, dropped to the ground and slunk back into the house!! She wouldn’t go back outside for about three days
Hi Gwen
I had a very special friend who sadly passed away 3 years ago. He was a seal-point siamese who’s name was Nev.
One of the cutest things he would do is every morning (and I mean EVERY morning) while my husband got up and made the morning cup of tea, Nev would go out with him, check to make sure he was doing it right, then jump back up on the bed with me. He would sit right up close to my head, purring loudly then lower the top of his head to my lips waiting for a kiss. If I didn’t make the “kissy” sound, he would keep doing it until I did. Such a funny little man!
I once had to call an ambulance to our house because I had injured my lower back. Two ambulance officers arrived and tried to treat me while lying on the floor of the living room. Nev would continually get between me and the officers, as if he were protecting me. My husband had to intervene and hold Nev until I’d recovered.
While renovating our house, Nev would always be the first up the ladder, just to see what’s there!
He also loved going for walks! We walked the entire neighbourhood once when our other kitty, George went missing. He came with me and called out every time I called George’s name.
He became such a well known figure in our small town. When he became ill (he was diagnosed with heart disease), we had people actually coming to our house specifically to visit Nev and check to see how he was doing.
He just loved people, especially HIS people!
I think of him every single day and miss him so very much it hurts. Thankfully, we have George (our chocolate-point siamese) to keep the household in order, the bed warm at night and smiles on our faces.
Loved your book!
Kind regards from your friend in Australia.
I am just finishing Homer’s Odyssey, and it is truly heartwarming and moving. I have had cats for decades and know too well their vast personalities. I have no one particular amazing story because life with cats seems to be one antic after another. In 2008-2009 we had to put down the remaining of my daughter’s childhood pets ranging from 16-17 years old. She works as a vet nurse at FVS (Florida Veterinary Specialists) in Tampa and tried to pull out all the stops in saving her 17 yr. old man. When I saw him hooked up to everything possible, I told her that she had to let him go. (I think he had a tumor in his esophogus, and surgery was very questionable). None of our hearts are protected from the inevitable, and then we do it all again. When our pets have passed, we have a paw print made in addition to a private cremation. We joke that we have a “coaster set” of paw prints. Animals enrich our lives more than we know, and I truly appreciated that you opened up as to how Homer helped you take risks and to see things in a different way.
My newest cat is all black. He came into my life at the right time. He was a rescue from cruely at the age of 4 weeks old. I think we needed each other. He will be a year old in April (his name is Jammie Napkinstains and has a page on “catbook” within Facebook)
Regards,
Renee in Tampa
Indi (Indira), a cat who lived with me when I lived in Florida, once caught a frisbee. She ran out to get it, jumped in the air, caught it between both front paws (and in the nose, and never tried that again).
Shorty, who turned 12 a few days ago and has been with me since age 3-weeks, lived with me in a 21′ “drag-along” camper for over a year and has set paw in 8 states.
Winston died of feline leukemia complications last September. He and his brother Raleigh got their names from their kittenish habit of curling up together yin-and-yang style in ashtrays — always ashtrays. Bob & I have both quit smoking since then. Winston, my black cross-eyed boy, would always help me weed the garden by headbutting the inside of my hand whenever I grabbed hold of a weed. I miss him so much, but this summer in the garden is going to be unbearable.
I have so many stories. Currently we have 4 black cats: Boog, Sapphire, Nameless (yes she knows that’s her name), and Barney; three greys: Klutz, Roadie, and Raleigh; Shorty, who is a tabby-point Siamese, and Snuffy, a tabby. Grrrl is a (light brown) red-nose pitbull/chow cross who hates dogs but defers to cats.